J.A. Tyler

The Stand Up

 

“Come on Doc, pull up a chair. I’ll tell you how it all happened.”

“Oh, you’re already sitting down.”

“Here goes.”

“Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree?”

“Cause it was dead.”

“That’s my best joke. Honest. My best.”

 

***

 

“They call me Father McAndrew but my name’s really Jonathan. They never go by real names in the comedic world. At least not until you get big. When I get big they’ll call me Jonathan. Or maybe Father Jonathan. That’d be all right too. Has a nice ring to it.”

 

“But since that’s my best joke, I don’t think I’ll be getting big anytime soon.”

 

“Everyone calls me Father McAndrew because my jokes are so terrible. After the first set I had in New York, the one where the audience looked to be asleep by the time the manager pulled me from the stage, they started with the nickname. Said I was as funny as a priest. As funny as a pastor on Saturday morning.”

 

“If you’ve ever been to church you  know how bad that is.”

 

“Anyway, they started calling me Father McAndrew and the name just sort of stuck. Nice huh?”

 

“But ever since I was a little kid I’ve wanted to be a comedian, so I didn’t really care about the name. I knew that I wasn’t that good, but I figured that I’d get better soon enough. I mean, I’d seen some of those really big guys before they got a hint of fame, and they were all pretty bad. It takes time. That’s what I figure anyway.”

 

“It’s like Fender says, ‘Funny takes time ya’ll.’”

 

 

“Yeah that’s right, Fender McGurty. Right, right. The famous TV guy. From the

 

 

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